"I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap." Fred Allen





The past few days has been a whirlwind for my husband.  Family he has never known opened up their hearts  and poured out kindness and love.  I have stood back mostly, sometimes jumping in, but primarily reveling in this reunion taking place.  I have watched as these people patiently described stories to my husband, explained aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and finally giving my husband a history in which to belong.  


A little background


Brian's father died when Brian was a toddler.  It was an unexpected and unnecessary death, that was rarely mentioned or talked about.  He grew up with a loving mother and 2 brothers, but always felt short changed in the dad department. It left my husband angry many times as he tried to find some kind of closure or reason why. When we met and I learned of his past, I had an itch in my soul to find some kind of connection for him, but I knew that I had to wait on Brian to be ready.  Years ago, we traveled to California on a family trip and stopped by the cemetery where his father was buried.  My husband met his father for the first time, kneeling over a name on a tombstone.  A name rare enough to send a little shiver when you see it anywhere else but on your own person.   There he also met his grandmother and grandfather.  We left some pictures of our family and quietly left Steven Lujin to rest in the sunshine. 


We went about our lives.  Brian was not really interested at the time to search out any of his paternal roots.  I believe he was still angry. I still did occasional searches for the Lujin name, always coming up short, unless he was somehow related to some Asian's who owned a chinese restaurant. Then I was contacted on Facebook about a year or so ago from a member of his family. His FAMILY. Living, breathing FAMILY.  I sat on that computer most of the day bombarding them with questions, I was so ecstatic I would babble on and on to Brian, who sat in the background, about all the information I was finding out.  He just wasn't ready yet.  To this day, he doesn't know why he wasn't ready at that time.  After reeling on a high of finding some of his family. I quit Facebook for a year and lost contact again.  Life got busy. 


So....fast forward to present


Vanessa set up a Facebook account for Brian., which then gets me to set one up again too.  This time the Lujins find my husband, who is now open and ready to receive the gift of his family.  My heart did a little jig.  I was at work so I was getting texts filled with excitement as he talked about learning about his family and about his father. I worked all day then came home and just let him talk my ear off about these wonderful new people in his life.  The time got late, but he wanted more so off we go to the basement and digging through boxes to find the few pictures he had of his dad.  It's been awesome watching this unfold.  I do not foresee a life without these people in it ever again.  My husband has always been extremely family oriented. I think this has finally given him some completion to that circle. We are wholeheartedly embracing it. 


The most beautiful thing about this family reunion is to see the quiet acceptance in the air that says  "You are a part of us and we love you"  

Comments

  1. UnknownMay 5, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    This post made me tear up. I am so happy for your husband Crystal, and for your family. What a happy time this must be for you all. I am sure that at some point down the road we will be reading a story about a family reunion, or a vacation to go meet his family in person, and I am sure I will cry again 8)

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 5, 2011 at 10:07 AM

    Awww, that is so wonderful. I got so teary-eyed reading this. You two are wonderful people and anyone would be blessed to call you family! <3

    ReplyDelete

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